Today was a lot harder than I expected it to be.
Even with my preparation for an economic meltdown, I wasn’t expecting just how bad it was going to unfold. I guess I wasn’t expecting a clean up on aisle 2020.
Good Morning, Recession Calling
The news was a hurricane of soul-draining negativity. Forcing bad report, after the lousy headline so fast and hard down my throat, I felt slightly odd and out of sorts watching it.
Disconnected, disassociated and in shock. My morale is as low as my stocks.
All-day a storm was coming my way. Do you ever get that, a feeling? When you know and you can just tell shit is about to hit the fan?
A looming black cloud parked itself on my horizon, iceberg dead ahead.
My usual attempts to block out the bad vibes were not doing so well… that darn black cloud grew darker as it bided time, catcalling me from my peripheral.
Concentration! Nil. Ability to Assess and plan? Damn near impossible. I was trying for hours just to write a sentence on my phone.
These Uncertain Messy Feelings
I feel like I have misplaced something of importance, something dear to me, precisely what though I can’t quite put my finger on.
I pick up the phone to call my lady love Brianna Price, who I might add I am super graciously in awe of, and for good reasons that I shall explain soon enough no doubt. I voiced this “lost” feeling, and to my surprise, in very few words, I was understood in my entirety.
Brianna expressed exactly how I was feeling, even though I couldn’t communicate it so eloquently as she, it turns out she was sharing those uncertain feelings too.
Great! I wasn’t the only hot mess and lost item left on aisle 2020. Knowing that allowed me to breath a sigh of relief, even if only for a split second.
Many are in a worse situation, far worse than my unravelling messy self. Realising, this invited the unwelcome dark cloud to me. It crept inside me as heartache, grief, and there it has stayed. It grows more ominous, more substantial, more oppressive each day but we are learning to co-exist.
Zero Control
I get off the phone, and I burst into tears before my brain can catch up to what was happening. It has all come so fast, and I will be stuck in limbo far too long. I don’t understand, everything looks the same as it had the day before, yet absolutely everything is different and changed.
The thing I lost is control.
A mountain of panic-stricken questions storm through the little remaining good vibes and send me in a dark spiral.
Am I going to lose my businesses?
My staff and contractors?
The projects we have started?
Will I need to let people go? You mean let them down?
Did my entire world financial world evaporate… again?
- Yes, likely.
Problems With Niche Business
My retirement plan was to work full time in my primary business, and it is very niche. I realised the problems with this some time ago, and have invested and finished set up of my fashion business for the last few months.
Both investments are now proving to be problematic; due to corona, both are stuck in tight places.
The adult industry is likely to be the one sector, other than airlines, that will be hardest hit from the mess on aisle 2020. Unlike airlines, the overwhelming majority of sex workers are not entitled to access benefits.
Be Open and Accept Change
Knowing reality bites, accepting reality bites and letting reality bite are very different things.
Today was a lot harder than I expected it to be, but there is a new and hopeful sunshine-filled day on my horizon. No matter how horrible things may seem, there is also some sunshine coming your way too.
Things are going to be extremely tight for a little while, you need to plan for that the best you can. It’s ok if you are upset in the short term, what is done is done. Let yourself grieve a moment and then you must move forward or you will get left behind.
It’s ok if you are worried and on edge, try to minimise all the things that make you stressed out by dealing with them one by one.
What is not ok? It is not ok to stay still and let it knock you down. You have to keep moving, keep adapting. Learn to become proactive and rather than reactive, come up with new ideas and go against the grain.
Don’t forget to trust yourself, be open to change and seize opportunities.
When your gut tells you to pay attention, shake off the shock and listen.
Switch off autopilot and deal with the situation, I know it makes it easier to cope but it also means you are not present at the moment.
Learn to diversify quickly, make a move and go for it.
If it is important enough to you, you will find a way to make it work xx.
